Baize
I should have tried harder to love Steve Davis. If not for his neat bow tie then for his rare motor skills.
Good hand-eye co-ordination smooths the path of a relationship. At least one of you must have it, like hope, and the ability
to love and keep one's word. There was much I failed to understand that Steve tried to explain: that life's a process of elimination,
and the black truth must be toyed with until it's the only way out. One must maximise one's options within the frame the game creates,
avoiding conflict until its result can be decisive in your favour - and the one true art is procrastination so complex it appears something is happening
until finally, the smack of the cue drives uncertainty off the face of the earth. I've learned at last I don't need anything that requires a hand to touch me.
I dream of the long green baize where Steve and I might have lain, my unmanageable dreams finally, gratefully, pocketed.
Fishing Boat
I wanted so much to save it, the carved sea, the white sky bleaching me away.
The peregrines whipped from the chalk, rushed up the cliff-face like ash from the baking sea,
and I wanted so much to save it, how we lay down, and the sun fired our shadows into the rock.
Far below a fishing boat chugged like a toy, pushing its blue V to somewhere familiar.
And I saw the skipper recording, I saw that he would be the one to draft the flutter of clothes,
the obliteration of skin by sun, the are they… ? are they…. ? as the boat led him out of sight
of the dust and pebbles kicked slowly down the chalky face. I saw him scribbling the whispers,
the madness, the too-little time, as the boat and its trawl of glimpses slipped away from me, towards home.
Mule
He snaps five halters before I learn that four hooves dug in means no. I try weeping. I try weaving
a trail of Polos down the yard. I tickle him under the chin. He regards me without amusement.
I think he loves me, even as he sinks his long teeth into my head when I drag his foreleg an inch. I cry at his feet.
I nibble hay and try to understand. I gather the Polos and feed them to him. His lips are wet and grateful.
This is the language of refusal, the eternal tenderness of things that will not move.
By sunrise, he is my creature and this is my home. I cry and I beat him. I do not leave.
About Polly Clark
Polly Clark's first collection Kiss was a Poetry Book Society book of the year. She won an Eric Gregory award for her poetry in 1997 and in 2004 she was chosen as one of the best ten poets to emerge in the last decade by Mslexia magazine. Polly Clark is editor of the south east of England's literary website www.pirandello.org.uk and is a reviews editor for Poetry London. Her next collection will be published in 2006.
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